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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
January 31, 2013
the day we died by ~greenleo94 positively demands a re-read or two or three, the suggester writes.
Featured by Nichrysalis
Suggested by LadyofGaerdon
Literature Text
It started when space imploded
you pulled me back, landed me on the moon,
so we could sit in the vacuum silence
and watch suns spiral down to hell.
You radiated, my minuscule flare,
your worn heat baked my bones brittle,
but it somehow made me stronger.
-
It ended when your eyes slid lateral,
fractured feelings leaking out in tears;
it was the first and last thing
I ever saw again.
This ridiculous happenstance,
simple in its impossibility,
was what broke us apart:
While solar light is beautiful,
it blinds when reflected by
automobile metal.
you pulled me back, landed me on the moon,
so we could sit in the vacuum silence
and watch suns spiral down to hell.
You radiated, my minuscule flare,
your worn heat baked my bones brittle,
but it somehow made me stronger.
-
It ended when your eyes slid lateral,
fractured feelings leaking out in tears;
it was the first and last thing
I ever saw again.
This ridiculous happenstance,
simple in its impossibility,
was what broke us apart:
While solar light is beautiful,
it blinds when reflected by
automobile metal.
Literature
moondust.
we live in a world where our lungs are black and outlined with angry streaks of red. we plant diseases and destruction in the holes of our stomachs and watch them grow they shoot up fast and clog up our throats with ashy leaves.
our fingernails are ripped, jagged edges digging into pale skin and leaving white hot lines in their wake. our wings are crumpled, feathers bent and pressing into the expanse of our backs they're the weights on our shoulders, and there's no space left for anything else.
your tongue is cracked and so is mine. words no longer form, sounds no longer rise. dreams and wishes fall into the cracks as nig
Literature
water-colour emotions
you can't buy happiness, but you can buy tea, and thats kind of the same thing. i've been told that i have a knot inside my chest,
like those of the inside of a tree truck, eternally circling and looping. thats kind of how it feels, heavy and unstoppable.
if i have a tree inside me, then maybe that could explain the shaking, its just the westerly winter winds blowing and
making my far too fragile limbs bend but never break. i soak the tea leaves into the roots that are deep within my
fleshy heart and hope the capillaries will carry to wherever the aches are most ingrained and unnatural.
mother told me thr
Literature
A Parenthesis
You were (a parenthesis, that paused
the daily, mundane stuff
of life;
a bundled breath
of fresh joy,
and borne in the wonder
of love.
Gasping and grasping,
'til in quiet you laid
still;
and I, my Child,
lie in quiet, still
tears).
And now, that is all you are,
and still so much more.
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EDIT:
Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and favs! I love you guys so much. You all made my day. I'll try to respond to each of you, but if I can't, thank you again!
----
I love twists and telling creepy little stories. Perhaps, for a poet, that isn't such a bad thing?
[link]
Questions for Critique:
1. Does the time relationship make sense? If not, how could I change it while still maintaining the feel of the poem?
2. What do you get from this poem?
3. Anything else you feel like adding?
Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and favs! I love you guys so much. You all made my day. I'll try to respond to each of you, but if I can't, thank you again!
----
I love twists and telling creepy little stories. Perhaps, for a poet, that isn't such a bad thing?
[link]
Questions for Critique:
1. Does the time relationship make sense? If not, how could I change it while still maintaining the feel of the poem?
2. What do you get from this poem?
3. Anything else you feel like adding?
© 2011 - 2024 greenleo94
Comments103
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